Losing Control
by mcflyfreakify
Summary: Ever wonder what happened to Benvolio after Romeo and Mercutio's deaths? Well I did and decided to write about it. No slash.


~Okay, I've been wanting to write a Romeo and Juilet fanfic for a long time now. When we started reading and watching it in my freshman year I got addicted to Benvolio and Mercutio. I'm a sophmore now and still love them! I always wondered what happened to Benvolio after Romeo and Mercutio's deaths. Forgive me, I'm not too good with their old timey language. I'll try my best.~

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Bill Shakespeare. **This is based off the 1968 moive.**

The first emotional pain I felt was when parents died. I was only a boy of five years old when my mother got ill. My father took care her months on end, but then he got sick too. My mother died and my father soon after. I went to live my aunt and uncle. Romeo, my cousin, was more than happy that I was going to live with them.

Everyday Romeo would meet his friend Mercutio in town square, he would always want me to join them. So I did. I always felt like the odd man out. My cousin and his friend laughed and horse-played around while I just walked silently beside them. I knew Mercutio didn't like me all too well, but he eventually warmed up to me. And the three of us were inseparable.

The second time I felt unbearable emotional pain was when Tybalt killed Mercutio, my best friend. He was gone, killed, murdered. I saw his death. Sure he was annoying sometimes and talked too much, but he didn't deserve that. To die. Mercutio was always so happy and just wanted to enjoy life. I would never get over his death completely, but I knew it would help to have Romeo there with me. I was wrong. So very wrong.

The third and last time I felt emotional pain was when my last friend on earth killed himself. He thought Juliet was dead and couldn't live witout her. When I heard that they were both found dead, I felt like my someone ripped my heart out with a sword.

They were both gone, Mercutio and Romeo. They left me all alone. They were my only friends, my best friends. I'm used to being by myself sometimes to read or write, but Mercutio wouldn't allow it for long. He would drag me away from my books and we would go in search for my dear cousin.

After Romeo and Juliet's funeral, I rushed ahead of everyone else to the Montague home, to my sleeping chambers. I slammed the door shut with all the strength I had. Breathing hard with anger I walked over to my bookshelf. I grabbed the corners with my hands and knocked it over. It made a loud crashing sound. It felt good. I then walked over to my desk and swept my arms across it, knocking some books, parchments of paper, and quils to the floor.

For the next hour and a half, I tore my room apart. I never lost control, never lost my temper like Mercutio did. Never let emotions get the best of me, like Romeo's did. No one has never seen me angry before. If I was ever angry or upset I never showed it.

After I could destroy nothing else, I slid down the wall, breathing hard and looking at the damage I had done. It was like everytime I kept my anger bottled up inside of me, just came out that night. I began to weep. I wept for Romeo, for Mercutio and even for Juliet even though I had never met the poor girl.

Hours later there was a knock on my door. "Benvolio? My dear nepthew are you in there?" My uncle's voice said through the door. He opened the door and he and my aunt gasped at the state me and my room were in. They rushed forward to me, kneeling down on either side of me. "Benvolio? Who has done this?" Uncle asked me.

I did. I wanted to say, but couldn't. My throat was so sore from all the weeping and blubbering I did.

"Benvolio? Are you alright?" My dear aunt asked me. I ignored their questions and closed my eyes. They were sore too.

"BALTHASAR!" Mu uncle yelled. And not even a minute later a small boy stumbled into my room, tripping over some books that lay scattered on the floor.

"Y - yes sir?" He asked looking at my room and at me.

"Get Friar Laurence. He'll know what to do."

The young boy nodded and ran from my room. And minutes later he returned with Friar Laurence close behind him. He knelt down infront of me. "Benvolio? What happened? Did someone hurt you?"

I nodded.

"Who my dear boy?"

"R - Romeo. Mercutio." I manged to rasp out.

The three adults looked at me like I had gone insane.

"What?" He asked. "I do not understand."

"They left me. **THEY LEFT ME ALONE! WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT? I HAVE NOBODY NOW! THOSE TWO IDIOTS!**" I started crying again. " I need them," I whispered, tears streaming down my face.

My aunt let out a soft sob.

The three adults exchanged worried glances. Frair Laurence and Uncle helped me to my feet and over to my bed. They cleaned off all the books from my bed while my aunt tucked me in. She kissed my forehead, "Get some sleep, Benvolio." She said before they all walked out.

I heard them talking outside my room.

"What are we going to do?" My aunt asked.

"Pray. That's all we can do." Friar Laurence replied.

"We have to do something for him. I lost my son, I'm not losing my nephew as well!" My uncle said rather loud and my aunt shushed him.

I didn't want to hear anymore. I rolled over on my side and closed my eyes. I dreamt about Romeo, Mercutio and I and all the fun times we had together. I wished I never had to wake up.

Days later I had gotton worse. I was sitting under a tree, trying to read in the Montague courtyard when I heard it. _"Come Benvolio! Stop reading! What's so fascinating about books anyway?"_ _Mercutio asked._

I stood up quickly. My heart pounding, my hands starting to sweat.

_"Oh leave him alone Mercutio. He's sees things differently than you do." Romeo said. _

I sat down against the tree with my knees pulled up to my chest and my hands covering my ears. "STOP! PLEASE STOP! YOU'RE NOT REAL! GO AWAY!" I was almost in tears.

My aunt and uncle rushed out into the courtyard. They must have heard my screaming. "Benvolio! Benvolio! What is it? What's wrong? Are you hurt? Talk to us." They asked me.

It was all too much for me to handle. I ran. I ran as fast as my legs would carry me out of the courtyard. I ran for so long. I didn't know where I was going, I just needed to get away. When I finally stopped I was right infront of the church. I stumbled inside. Friar Laurence was at a table. All kinds of medicines were in weird shaped bottles. I stumbled over to him. "Benvolio? Is everything alright?" I grabbed a hold of his arm and fell to my knees.

"Make it go away. Please I beseech you! Make it stop!" I sobbed.

"Make what stop, my dear boy?" He got to his knees infront of me and hugged me.

"The voices." I whispered in his ear and everything went black.

When I opened my eyes I was in my bed. My aunt and uncle along with and Friar Laurence were standing over my bedside. "Benvolio, thank goodness you're awake." My aunt said and sat down on the edge of my bed.

My head hurt and I was dizzy.

"What happened?" I whispered.

"You were malnourished, Benvolio. You were exhausted. The surgeon said you hadn't eaten or had a good night's sleep in days." My aunt told me.

"You almost died," My uncle said. "What were you thinking?"

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I wanted to say.

I turned my head away from them. I wanted to be left alone.

I heard them sigh.

"I'll bring you some food." My aunt said and swept some of my curly brown hair out of my face.

"Come, let's give him some time to rest." Friar Laurence said as he ushered everyone out of my room. Before he left he touched my arm and squeezed it slightly.

"I'm praying for you, Benvolio. You're going to just fine." He smiled sweetly at me. I forced out a some what grin. He left.

The last thought that went through my mind as I drifted off to sleep was; I hope he's right.

~Okay, this is probably THE most depressing story I have ever wrote. Reviews would be really cool. I'm just sayin'. Just putting it out there for yall(: I still can't believe out of all the stuff I've been obsessed with, Skakespeare. Wow. Haha never would have thought. Oh and sorry if there are any mistakes, I'm a bit under the weather and I wrote this in one sitting.~


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